Should we have a child?

Yuri asked:

First, sorry for my English. I’m suffering from strong depressions from time to time and have to take pills. My wife has a serious form of bipolar disorder. We met because of our problems and developed a strong and loving relationship. We’re not sure whether we should have at least one kid because there’s a probability of up to 40 that our child will suffer from one of our illnesses. Should we accept than in a way evolution doesn’t want us to have children, as to say it would be reasonable to put this issue aside or should we go for it?

Thanks.

Answer by Jürgen Lawrenz

This is a very delicate issue.

If I understand your predicament correctly, you and your wife each have a genetic disorder that brings a lot of suffering into your lives.

Moreover the chances are that any child you put into the world has an almost 50/50 chance of suffering the same predicament.

This puts a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.

On one hand, having a child might bring a lot of happiness into your life and ease your suffering.

On the other hand, how would you face your child when it is grown up and understands that its suffering is due to your selfishness in procreating?

This, I think, is what you have to ponder. Whether it is a fair risk, that you make another human being go through life with perhaps little joy and constant suffering.

In the end, all children want to live their own life when they grow up. Very often the love you expect and hope for ends when they enter their teens. This has to be weighed in the balance.

I don’t know if I’ve answered your question. But in such a predicament an outsider can do no more than hope that you can cut through the fog.

Whatever your decision, you will have to consider that today, tomorrow, next year and in 50 years time you can be satisfied it was a GOOD decision.